puerto rican

Who are you?

Usually we base this question after our status of education, profession or extra curricular hobbies. We might even base it off of where we fit in within our family tree or circle of friends. Sister, girlfriend, dancer, friend, volunteer – the list can go on and on. I have found, however, that these self identifiers have always been accepted with the knowledge that a variety of titles are OK. Each may mean something different to the owner, yet the understanding is the same.

One identifier that has always been a more vulnerable, more misunderstood matter has been cultural identity.  I feel that now a days there are so many of us that are bicultural – and we should embrace it! Unfortunately, while our world has progressed, many are still near sighted and ignorant towards different types of culture and ethnicity. It took a long time for me to write about cultural identity, specifically growing up within the Puerto Rican culture. From teacher figures suppressing my cultural embrace to peers calling my ‘Hispanic tendencies’ annoying, I felt torn between two worlds – one Latina, one white – and that I had to choose between one of the other because being both wouldn’t be accepted.

Keep reading below for my letter to my younger self.

P.S. That beautiful lady in the above picture with me is my mom!

Puerto Ricans are a mix of Spaniards, Native Americans (Taino Indians) and African Americans. For this reason, Puerto Ricans are a vase spectrum of size, shape and skin color. For the ones with more Spaniard in them, they have light eyes and light hair. Others with more Taino Indian or African American in them might have dark eyes and dark skin. I recently did a 23andMe test and I personally have more Spaniard in me, hence the light eyes and lighter skin, with Native American and African American still showing up but in smaller amounts.

My 1st cousins and I are all half Puerto Rican and half another culture. For my sister and I, our other half is Irish. With my cousins, we have a mix of Greek and Italian added to the family. For this reason we did not grow up speaking Spanish in the house, however we all know our favorite Puerto Rican dishes, the best songs to dance to and can understand a decent amount (including swear words in Spanish 😅). We do not speak the language fluently, however that does not diminish the fact that we do celebrate the culture at every family gathering and are proud to be half. Our family has always taught us to be loud and proud, and that’s exactly what we’re going to keep on doing.

This month, in honor of National Hispanic Heritage month (September 15 – October 15), I have decided to finally share these feelings in a letter to my younger self (because our younger selves always need advice, am I right?). For those wondering why the “month” is not the 1 – 30, the 15th of September was chosen as the start date to honor the independence anniversary for Latin countries Costa Rica, El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras and Nicaragua. Following the 15, Mexico and Chile celebrate their independence on September 16 and 18. The month then continues for a full month, hence the 15 to the 15. I personally love that the month is done differently than how everyone else does it.

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To My Younger Self,

Negative experiences have made you close up and shut down about expressing your cultural identity. You felt like you couldn’t be who you truly were; a normal, bi-cultural teenager. To you, someone mixed living in a white surrounding. From teacher figures telling you to “stop acting Mexican” and to suppress your embrace towards your Hispanic culture because its annoying to peers using parenthesis when referring to you as Latina because you do not speak the Spanish language. Ignore them. What do they know? They are not even from the Hispanic or Latina culture and just may not accept it because it is different. They may not know that Puerto Ricans look different than Mexicans, as do Spaniards from Dominicans. They may not know that Puerto Ricans are actually a mix of Spaniards, Native American (Taino Indian) and African American – creating a vase spectrum of shapes, sizes and shades. They may not know that the food, music and traditions are different from other Hispanic cultures. Show them. Open up about your culture and the way you were brought up. You may not speak Spanish fluently, but you can name your family’s favorite tradition dishes that are at every gathering. You feel the music in your soul as you grew up to be a dancer. Your family had always taught you to be proud of being Puerto Rican since you were little. Own that. While you and your sister are half, they have never makes you feel anything less than whole and that is what is important. You may have felt like you had a semi-separate life when you were all together. A dominant, passionate, storytelling group who loves to celebrate Puerto Rican heritage without any apologies. A group that never made someone feel like an outsider because they didn’t speak Spanish, even though the older generation did fluently. A group that never looked down on someone for being “too light” or “too dark”. That is the support that should be paid attention to. That is who loves you for you and is there to support you towards being an ambitious, outspoken and hard working bi-cultural individual. It’s important to know where your family comes from, but it’s up to you to decide how you embrace your heritage. Do not let anyone else tell you how to see your cultural identity. Only you can do that. Be proud of where you came from and who you are today. 

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You may agree with my emotions on the matter or you may not, and that’s OK. This is my truth and my feelings towards an identity struggle I have had for many years. I can now say that I feel comfortable enough with my cultural identity to embrace it and not care what others think. It is a huge weight that I have been waiting to have lifted off my shoulders for a long time, and I am so happy that the day has finally come. Yo soy Boricua 🖤🇵🇷

The Latina Power shirts worn in this post are from Etsy seller EmaxTees.